One of blues is ....CRYIng

Just after I closed the door behind me, then in front of me, I saw a face. It is very familiar face. I see it everyday but today, it was in different composure. Tears were coming down from my eyes. I don't know the reason why they were there but somehow, the tears gradually increase that I broke down crying away. I keep asking myself, what is happening to me? Why am I like this? I have never feel like this before. The tears keep flowing and I just comfort myself on my bed with the lights off.

An hour later, my tears were still there. Once awhile, I was able to hold back my tears but other time, I cry again. Even right now, as I am typing away, the tears are still there. I don't know why this is happening to me. Is it because of something sad or is it because of something has touched my heart. Or is it because of something I feel so much joy of from doing it...that this is the tears of happiness.

I am clueless. Do you have any idea?

Things I have longed to do

1. Taking the time to take pictures of the nature.
2. Prayer and bible reading.
3. Spending the time talking to friends from high school.
4. Calling up my friends who are afar.
5. Just enjoying the peaceful time at home, in the presence of my house mate.
7. Lay my fingers on the piano again.
6. Rest! Rest! Rest!
7. Take some little time and then to play Tomb Raider: The Anniversary

Sakit hati

I have never realized that a past can haunt a person's life, either in short time or the rest of his or her life. The past can be something experienced between other person, a tragedy, events, and others. I had mine before between people and it is amazing how God show me to forget them as time comes. I guess without the love of God and His forgiveness, I would definitely be cold-hearted person. Anyway, with the grace of God, I have renewed heart and a heart that is pure for Him.

There is another person who is trap in the remnent of his past. As hurtful it is to see a person, whose heart was once pure and carefree, turned hard because of how he was being treated before. Yet, he would still love her with a hope that love would changes everything. However, things weren't what he thought so, she was against him, his friends were against him. Now, he fears everyone around him although he has a pure heart to reach put to everyone and curious to care for them. It is heart-trenching to see how his life can be affected by little and fear looms over him as scary as the darkness covers the sky. No matter how much I want to help him, I pray that God will renew his heart and be the King of his throne, and show that life is still wonderful.

*sob *sob What is done is done, what is done cannot be change. Ever think of how your action, even small ones, can affect people?

Christmas Eve

A time to for friends
to show their love
n remember the past
we have shared together

A time to know that
they are still behind us
to show support
and their wonderful encouragement.

A time to get together
to share fun and laughter
drink a chai or two
or dance around for real

A time for the lights to shine
or christmas balls to roll
pine tress to decorate
or gifts to be given.

A time to stay up
late into the midnight
to know that next day
is the day of Jesus Christ

How wonderful all these
how great His love is
how wondergul to be near Him
he is the love of my life.


Dedicate to those who had fun at the Elim Gospel Church Christmas Eve and at my house for chai and dance. Thanks Rain for everything... I love the bracelet u gave me n will keep wearing it. Also d dance....hehe I have wonderful memory. :P Mudit, thanks for your support n encouragement.

You know...

...that they are your great friends when they:

1. Listen to your heart's problems.
2. Compassion about your troubles.
3. Give you thoughtful advise.
4. Lend you a hand for help.
5. They give all their best for you.
6. Be there for you in your time of needs.
7. Encourages you all the way through.

I am really touch by my wonderful friends today especially the hard time I am having right now to do my graduate applications. Somehow, I feel more motivated and full of purpose to do my best and the reasons are for them, that I will make them happy and proud of me aside from paying them back for their kindness. Thank God for these wonderful friends: Appa, Paul, Moo, Jinhee, and Fan. God has been really great and He has answered my prayer to grant me true friends. May God bless them as each of them walk down the life's path with full of motivation, determination and dreams.

Gomenasai!!!

Heheh....I know that many people have been asking about me. Where have I been, or what am I up to... :D . Actually, if you are smart enough you can guess what I have been up to lately. My absence in the world of MSN tells it all especially to those whom I chat the most with. Come to think about it, my friends over in KK are very smart in social behaviour...hehe. :D If you still don't get it, ahaha... ask me lar.

Zeuven~~~ sorry that I didn't call you lately. I hope you got your replied email. Since I am in the beginning of first stage, everything is total new experience for me. :D Anyway, I have just ended my third week of winter break and things have been really different since then. This Christmas I am staying in Rochester again for my GRE study. It is really unproductive of me to keep staying here like this and not being able to go anywhere. By the way, can I visit you some time after I graduated? What are you up to for Christmas?